Hectic!

It's taken me awhile to write in here because I have been super busy with subbing and packing, not that I am complaining! It's wonderful subbing lately, but it will be much better when I receive that pay check on FRIDAY! The last time I wrote in here I said that we were having a birthday bash at my place. Well, it went GREAT and I had such a great time! My friends are amazing, and they really know how to make any situation fun! Another great thing happened that night!!! Once I finally gave up looking for someone, I may have found someone that is really my prince charming. Everyone kept telling me that once I found myself and stopped searching that I will eventually find someone. Well, once I had given up and was pretty much headed for the convent, Nick came along. Although I have only known him for a few weeks, things seem to be going awesome. He is awesome and FINALLY I have finally found someone that treats me like a princess. I am not reading into anything nor am I jumping into anything. He says he understands, and I believe him. We'll see where it goes! I have to take a risk because otherwise I'll never know what could have happened.

It was lovely having a snow day yesterday, but the down-side of school closing is the fact that I lose money. I finally got to move some more things into our new place, it's starting to really come a long! Soon I'll post pictures once we pretty much have everything completed. I'm loving life right now, and the only thing that needs to be completed is finding a job. I am starting all the packets of information that are being sent to schools today. It's going to be a ton of work, but I am hoping that it all pays off. I just got to keep my trust and have faith, and whatever happens I know will happen because it's supposed to.

It's first period now (we had another two hour delay), so I best be getting to babysitting the students....

New Me :)

Okay, so I have about ten minutes until lunch, so I decided that I would write on here to help the time pass. It's finally FRIDAY! It feels like this week has gone on f-o-r-e-v-e-r! Tomorrow is the birthday bash at our place, should be tons of fun! I also found out that I will be subbing at my old high school all next week as well...I love working, it's fun having money for once! This subbing experience has not been too bad thus far. Although, I have not been in the actual classroom much, I have monitored study halls and assisted kids with work...so I guess it's like being a "teacher" to an extent. I am getting more done with all my packets to send out to all 65 schools. It's a ton of work! I am also waiting to hear from the tutoring center to see if I have an interview for a part time position tutoring students in english. It's only two nights a week, so it's great experience and a few extra dollars, which always helps!

I really need to get going on the packing for the new place, I just haven't found much time (or boxes) to sit down and actually do it. I have promised myself that after subbing next week, I will have pretty much everything moved in by the end of the week. I told myself that in 2009 I was going to be more productive, so far I haven't done too bad! I went to visit some old friends yesterday...it was a great experience. All of "my kids" that I used to babysit have grown SO MUCH! It was a little sad, but hey, life goes on, right? It was nice seeing everyone since I have not seen most of them in almost a year...it seems like a century but it hasn't even been a year yet, I can't believe it! I realized though that without my old boyfriend my life is much better off! I have come so far, so once I finally let go, I can't imagine what God will have ins store for me then! (Hopefully a job and prince charming...haha!) Okay, I wasted about four minutes, going to go see if the little old nun (she's 91) needs any assistance before I go to lunch. She is the cutest thing, and if I counted how many times she said God bless you in a day, I should be blessed for the REST of my life! She is so happy at 91, and I can only say God bless you to her as well. I hope to live that long, and I learned from working with her that life REALLY can be filled with happines...

Long week

Since I have a few minutes until homeroom and first period start, I decided now would be a good time for today's blog. I am actually excited to be subbing today. I have two actual class periods in the classroom. Yesterday seemed never-ending in this library. I kept myself busy, but it seemed no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get the clock to move! I am going to be teaching two ninth grade scripture courses. Today is the March for Life, so we are going to be discussing different aspects of abortion....with this age group, it should be interesting for sure!

This week has been really rough with my situation. I try to be so strong, and some days I am. Other days, like yesterday, were not strong days at all. There is a part of me that can't let go, and as I learned yesterday, until I do things are not going to go my way. Then I start thinking to myself, maybe I'm not supposed to move on. Maybe I am supposed to be patient and wait to hear what God tells me. I realize that I have a lot of things to change about my life. I just don't know if I want those changes to occur without him. I guess if I keep myself focused and busy, everything will begin to fall into place. They are totally right whenever they say that the winter months is always the hardest when you go through things...this summer I was much better off!

I realized today also that you need to keep the past in the past. When someone calls you and needs to talk or advice, it shouldn't matter the history that was there. You should be looking into the present and future and put whatever hostile feelings aside and listen.l There is a reason they called you out of all those people.

You know, they say life will be worth it but no one ever said it would be easy. Boy, after the past year of my life I TOTALLY believe that now. I want things to fall into place, and I know what I need to do in order for that to happen. Yesterday, someone very close to me said that a year has gone by, if you really would have focused do you have any idea where you would be right now. He was right. If I would have focused on what I know I had to, I would not be in this situation right now. I promised myself on New Years that I would be a new person. I would no longer allow the past to bring down my future. So far, I have not been very successful. Luckily though, I know what the problem is. I need to focus on two things: God and my future.

I try not to make this blog a place for complaining. I really am not complaining, I am just letting it all out. Hopefully, as each day passes I will read these blogs and see a change for the best. I can't be selfish at a time like this. I have a close friend who needs support and my attention. I need to focus on giving that to him....wish me luck!

Happy Birthday to Me!

Well, today is my birthday and I am now the big 2-3. I don't feel any older than I did when I was 21. After your 16th, 18th, and 21st birthdays there really is not much to look forward to. I know I just wrote in this late last night, but I am subbing right now and I'm going crazy with NOTHING to do. It's midterms here at my old high school, and since I am subbing in the library, there really is not much going on. My little sis (I call her little even though she is 18 now *tear*) came and visited during her study hall last period, so that made the day go a little faster. I have done some research for jobs...not too much luck. I then decided to write down every high school in Allegheny, Beaver, and Lawrence county. I hope by next week to send out cover letters and resumes to them in hope of finding a job. There are over seventy schools in the three counties, and if I can't find a job...it's going to be a heart ache for sure!

I am sitting here while the inauguration is on. I really wanted to see it, especially because today is an important day in American history. I am thrilled to see how far our country has come, it makes me proud :) Now, if we could get the racism out of some of the schools, that would be great!

After reading my friend Kristen's blog, I now have decided that once I finish the first book of the Twilight series that I too am going to read "The Rules" book. Obviously I need some advice/help/miracle in the dating scene, so maybe this is my hope. At this point, I'm desperate for answers. As I was watching Sex in the City last night, once again Carrie's life revealed mine. Miranda got mad at Carrie for still talking to Big even though he has put her through so much and eventually married someone else. Well, my friends have been telling me the same thing for awhile now as well. I promise I have been listening!...It is SOOOO scary how much my life is like hers....ugh I just need some expensive shoes though....hopefully with all this job searching one day that will come true as well!

Well, here's to another year where I am one year older. I learned a lot last year, so I know that will continue. At least this year, I have a degree, my own place, and TRUE friends who really have shown me that they care...:)

It continues...

Well, it's been awhile since I have had the chance to write on here, not that I am complaining because I need and like to stay busy! Today was a rough one for many reasons, but I have realized a lot today. No matter how bad you may think your life sucks if you have great friends, your life is not bad at all. I really can say that I have been blessed with awesome friends. God knew what I would be going through the past year, and he placed some very special people (no names mentioned) in my life to help me through one of the most difficult things I have ever experienced. I took a deep breath today and realized that I have a lot to be thankful for. I can no longer live in the past, when I have so much ahead of me in the future to look forward to. I don't want to be that girl that relies on a guy for everything. I want to be independent and live my one life, and when God decides to send my prince, I'll know it will be at the right time. I didn't know how hard it would be to forget about someone and move on with your life. Not only is it hard to forget but its SO hurtful...I plan today to be a different person. I haven't ate much in three days and everything is just snow balling! Well, I am going to go to bed watch CSI and get ready for another week of subbing...pray for me as I go through this, mostly for strength and courage!

First week of subbing

So, Tuesday was my first official day of subbing. It was at my old high school, which was really weird going back there! This time though I was calling the teacher's by their first names (because they told me to) and I was getting paid to be there! It was also weird because my sister is a senior there, so I was teaching some of her friends as well! As I was walking through the halls, I almost wanted to cry. I miss high school so much and I still must say those were some of my favorite years throughout my entire life. It's where I met my closest friends, had my first true love, and grew inot the person I am today. I couldn't wait to leave high school while I was there, but now that it has been almost five years later, I wish I could go back! My advice to my students is to enjoy your high school years, although it may seem lame while you are there, you will miss it once you begin to grow up!

I have worked there tues and thurs and supposedly friday. With the temperatures though, I am hoping that tomorrow is cancelled. All the schools around us are cancelled but the one I am working at, I hope they do! I really hate the cold weather, and if I had my choice I would move somewhere where it is warm!

As for the guy situation, things are so confusing. I was watching the entire DVD of season two of One Tree Hill and in the one episode it said "Relationships are hard, but what's harder is being alone." All I can say to that is AMEN! In the past seven years, I have only been single for a total of eight months. Now, once again I have been single for another eight months. It has been hard at times, especially around the holidays. I must say though, that I have really grown as a person. I have learned a lot about myself and can honestly say I have really grown up. My best friend said I needed to do that, I am glad I listened to her on that. I do feel that I am ready to move on. Although I have dated often, I am not sure if I like being by myself more or with someone. I am glad I stayed single during student teaching, because if I didn't I probably would have gone nuts. There is still a little bit of hope in me that things in my past will work out, but I can't wait forever. I know things would be different now, but it's just going to take time to figure out. Right now I am waiting on God. I have faith that when it's time and when the right one comes along, I will become the happiest girl ever! Just be patient...that's what I tell myself!

Well, stay warm and I'll keep ya posted on the events during subbing!

Date night and Saturday

Well, I had a pretty eventful night to say the least after Friday during the day was not to exciting. I did end up going on the second date and it was SO much fun! We went ice skating down town at the PPG where I probably skated the worst I ever head. I didn't fall though, which is pretty good considering I have not been ice skating in three years! The ice down there gets so choppy and I think it's hard to move on, well that was my excuse at least. We then went to Shady Side, which I def. need to get to more often. It's so beautiful there and I love the expensive shops. Although I currently can't afford anything in them, I like to pretend I can. The shops are all outside, so I will have to add that to my things-to-do list for the summer! Everything went well though... :)

On the other hand, my stupid cell phone is no longer charging. I have not had a cell phone since 6:00 Sat night, and I hate it! I always feel SO naked without my phone. It is freezing outside right now but eventually I am going to have to go out in the cold and go to the Verizon store where they will hopefully fix my problem! I need my phone for subbing jobs...so I need it like ASAP! I wish I could get a new one, but I still have three months for that :( We'll see, maybe since I have been a good girl recently SOMETHING good will happen for once!

Kristen and I had a few people over last night for a Wii party. It was only the second time I had played it, but it was still VERY interesting. My best friend (liz) totally kicked everyone's butts though. She claims she has never played it, but I think she has one stashed in her room and puts it away when I come over...haha. We also played Wii fit which was exciting as well. The good note on this though is that Dan did come over last night, which means I did't scare him too much by not being allowed to drive when there was an inch of snow on the ground. Thank goodness for that and him being understanding!

Well, I should go to the Verizon store now and hopefully flirt my way through this. It will be unsuccessful if it's a girl, so let's hope that it's a guy for sure! I also may be finding some applications for another part-time job. Hobby Town is slowing down extremely and I was called off Friday and now today. I can't have that, so I need to find something for a few nights a week I guess. One last thing HERE WE GO STEELERS HERE WE GO!! First round of the playoffs, let's not screw this up! At least my husband won last night, Joe Flacco :)

Snow...

Well today may have been the most boring day since graduation thus far! I do have another date tonight, (same guy lol) so hopefully that makes the day a little more eventful! I woke up decided that the interview at Seneca could wait until the spring since we found out today that it was only a meet-and-greet. So, today consisted of a whole lot of TV and a whole lot of nothing. First show of the day was some Paula Abdul cheerleading show. Since Paula was a childhood idol, and as most of you know, cheerleading has been my life, I decided it was a great combination and decided to watch it. It made me realize how much I missed cheerleading, that is why I hope to get another coaching job here shortly. So, that was kind of exciting to watch...haha!

We are supposed to get a huge snow storm here this weekend. I already got called off today from work because we were slow, and the chances of me getting called off tomorrow are looking pretty good because of the weather. The fact that it's snowing tonight, even though it's just a little, my parents refused to let me drive my car out. So me, being the almost twenty-three year old that I am, had to ask my date to come pick me up because my parents would not let me drive. Wow, I'll let you know if there's a third date after that one! They do have to let go at some point!!

There is one other exciting thing, besides the date, that's happening this weekend, the STEELERS! I am totally pumped at truly hoping that the offensive line allows some time for Ben to through and for him to quit the freaking dancing in the pocket! If that happens, our chances of winning will really increase! Well, I really should start to change because I don't know what Dan will think of me in my leopard PJs...haha. So, here's my advice if you love cheerleaders and Paula Abdul, I highly suggest watching the show!!

Slacking Already....

Yes, already I didn't write in my blog last night. I have TWO really good reasons though! First off, the date from the other night called :) and second off I was reading the first book in the Twilight series, and I couldn't manage to put it down! I feel that those are two pretty good excuses!

So, I got a call last night from my old high school for a subbing job. I was super excited because I may actually now begin to earn some extra cash and also I would no longer be sitting in my house with nothing to do! My old principal called me, which was a little weird, and she asked me to sub three days next week. Not bad for my first week of subbing! The only thing that's a little out of the ordinary is that for those three days I will be subbing for the school librarian. Yes, I know you can laugh. That's what everyone did that I have told thus far, especially my little sister. She is still a senior there and she is VERY interested to see how I manage to pull this one off. Although I am no the librarian "type" it's money and experience so I am going to kick it in the butt!

That was the exciting news for the day. The rest of the day was spent with my second family (Liz's family). I went to the mall to get my nails done for the interview tomorrow, and I also got information on switching my cell phone plan. I am still on a family share plan from the previous relationship and now that I have to pay it on my own, it's getting a little expensive! I also found out in three months that I can get a new cell phone, that was exciting news for me too (pathetic, I know).

I received a very unexpected text that night too. Someone very close to me sent me a text that just said "thank you". I was a little confused as to what that meant, and when I asked him he said for everything you have done. We have been through a lot lately and that made my night, week, and month. It meant a lot to see where we are now and how far we have come! It's pretty exciting and I thank God for him and our newly strengthened friendship! :)

So today consisted of taking care of some business, bonding with old friends, and me becoming a librarian. Once again, not very exciting but it's slowly getting better!

Introduction

Well, I decided, along with my friend Audrina, that it was time to start a blog. Not only is it a way to reflect on a day's events, but it's away for others to see truly what the life a recently graduated unemployed woman does in her spare time. I titled this blog introduction. Maybe it's the English teacher in me, but each work needs an intro in order to allow people to know what's to come. So, as I mentioned, I recently just graduated from college and I am STILL hoping to get into subbing somewhere. I thought that the subbing part would be easy, but obviously the word easy is not found in the field of education. Applying for subbing jobs requires more paper work that becoming the President of the US, but oh well I guess one day it will be worth it. As of now, I feel as if my life is sort of pathetic. I dreamed for the day to come along where I had NOTHING to do, well now that I do, I sorta hate it. I wake up every morning and I'm like, okay what am I going to do today to occupy myself? Pathetic, I know. Hopefully, all of this waiting will eventually make everything worthwhile. That's what I keep telling myself at least!

Today was sort of interesting. Got to spend time with my old buddy Bobby, while he made Kristen and I our favorite, beef pasta. It was amazing...like always! Other than that we just watched a movie or two and then I proceeded to get ready for my date tonight. This dating crap is getting a little annoying, especially when pretty much everyone around you is getting married in the year 2010! Some day, my prince will come. As I said last night, when he does, he better be on a white stallion! Back to the date...the date went very well! The best one I have had in awhile...hmm who knows where it will lead. I'm thinking though, this one may be a good one! No jumping to conclusions just yet, but there is always hope :)

As for tomorrow, it looks like my big adventure is going to be to get my nails done. Not only do Audrina and I pretend we are the character's from Sex in the City, we pretty much believe we live their lives. I am convinced that someone is able to tell my future for when I am in my early forties, and has made a TV series and movie about it. We can all pretend though that our lives are like those characters. We grow up wishing we were Disney princesses and now as we grow older we imagine ourselves being Carrie, Charolette, Samantha, and Miranda. If you are reading this, you know you know what I mean!

Well, its eleven and I am getting a little tired. Considering I was woken up at three in the morning by unexpected phone call, and didn't get to bed until 4:30, I can't imagine why I would be so tired :-/. I will probably fall asleep watching my favorite show (sex in the city if you can't tell yet). Good night world :)