Long week

Since I have a few minutes until homeroom and first period start, I decided now would be a good time for today's blog. I am actually excited to be subbing today. I have two actual class periods in the classroom. Yesterday seemed never-ending in this library. I kept myself busy, but it seemed no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get the clock to move! I am going to be teaching two ninth grade scripture courses. Today is the March for Life, so we are going to be discussing different aspects of abortion....with this age group, it should be interesting for sure!

This week has been really rough with my situation. I try to be so strong, and some days I am. Other days, like yesterday, were not strong days at all. There is a part of me that can't let go, and as I learned yesterday, until I do things are not going to go my way. Then I start thinking to myself, maybe I'm not supposed to move on. Maybe I am supposed to be patient and wait to hear what God tells me. I realize that I have a lot of things to change about my life. I just don't know if I want those changes to occur without him. I guess if I keep myself focused and busy, everything will begin to fall into place. They are totally right whenever they say that the winter months is always the hardest when you go through things...this summer I was much better off!

I realized today also that you need to keep the past in the past. When someone calls you and needs to talk or advice, it shouldn't matter the history that was there. You should be looking into the present and future and put whatever hostile feelings aside and listen.l There is a reason they called you out of all those people.

You know, they say life will be worth it but no one ever said it would be easy. Boy, after the past year of my life I TOTALLY believe that now. I want things to fall into place, and I know what I need to do in order for that to happen. Yesterday, someone very close to me said that a year has gone by, if you really would have focused do you have any idea where you would be right now. He was right. If I would have focused on what I know I had to, I would not be in this situation right now. I promised myself on New Years that I would be a new person. I would no longer allow the past to bring down my future. So far, I have not been very successful. Luckily though, I know what the problem is. I need to focus on two things: God and my future.

I try not to make this blog a place for complaining. I really am not complaining, I am just letting it all out. Hopefully, as each day passes I will read these blogs and see a change for the best. I can't be selfish at a time like this. I have a close friend who needs support and my attention. I need to focus on giving that to him....wish me luck!